Now that Owl’s holidays are over she’s reading…
1) Various papers courtesy of her boss
Some people see their holidays as an opportunity to take twelve hour naps, eat six meals a day, and leave their laundry in the bathroom sink. Other people see it as an opportunity to go into the office and crank out seventy pages worth of papers for their employees to edit. Owl belongs to the former category. Her boss belongs to the latter category.
Owl is duly shamed.
2) Business school application essays for a friend
Sometimes Owl’s mother looks at Owl and makes wistful eeping noises that can roughly be translated to please get your MBA, MBAs make money. Owl deflects by saying she’ll apply once she’s old enough. Post-reading essays Owl has decided to high tail it NeverNever land.
3) The back of her shampoo bottle
Apparently, Owl’s been shampooing with hair wax for the past three months. FML.
4) The Economist
After staying up until dawn to polish off a self-help book on how to become a CEO, Owl spent her entire cake budget on a subscription to the Economist. (CEOs keep abreast with international events.) After two issues, Owl was filled with regret and bitterness. Each one reads like a apocalypse novel; after she finishes Owl is convinced the world is ending.
5) Recipes on Google
Owl can not cook. Owl misses her mother's cooking. Owl is a masochist.
In conclusion, Owl wants another vacation.
 |
| I gave up cake for this? |
Aww, Owl :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat's in FRANCE in that picture? It looks like sushi.
I've reached a state of being incapacitated by all the things I'm supposed to be reading--all pleasure reading, even--and so... I dread reading. A shame, isn't it.
Good luck with the cooking!
@asakiyume
ReplyDeleteI have no idea since I have yet to finish the article. *cough* I will let you know though when I finish!
The first day I got home I took out all the books I wanted to read and spread them out on the floor. There were about a hundred in all. I got so scared I had to take deep breaths and shove them out of sight. Even so, it was a while before I got up the courage to read again.
Thank you. :)
Yikes, Owl, what ungodly calamity befell you that you thought a subscription to The Economist is a good idea? Only Econ professors read them. Also, CEOs as you mentioned. Also, other High-and-Mighty Uber Important People. I never reached that level, so I'm safe for...maybe a decade? That's my deadline.
ReplyDelete@W
ReplyDeleteSleep deprivation+thwarted ambition+generalized fear about being a deadbeat= blowing entire budget on Economist.
in other words, fear marketing really works?
seriously, ambition has always gotten me into trouble. is responsible for other stupid purchases like a meditation cushion (because I want to be a competitive meditator!), and too many cartons of buttermilk.
... how the hell did you manage to wash your hair with hair wax for MONTHS without noticing?? *boggles*
ReplyDelete@Gilrandir.
ReplyDeleteShut up. I'm gifted.
Haha, a competitive meditator, that is an oxymoron if I've ever seen one.
ReplyDeleteI thought you want to be a writer? Writers don't have to read The Economist, unless you want to be an economics writer, in which case, I salute you, because no econ article has ever made me love the subject even more than when I first started so you've got a tough road ahead.
@W
ReplyDeleteI used to do speech team in high school. They had this category called 'Discussion' where, no joke, people were ranked on how good they were at holding a cooperative discussion. I've heard the sugar factor could kill.
I'm a wanna be writer going through an identity crisis. This leads to strange behavior such as reading the Economist. There are some really awesome none-economics parts of the Economist though. The obituaries are fabulously written.