Now that Owl’s holidays are over she’s reading…
1) Various papers courtesy of her boss
Some people see their holidays as an opportunity to take twelve hour naps, eat six meals a day, and leave their laundry in the bathroom sink. Other people see it as an opportunity to go into the office and crank out seventy pages worth of papers for their employees to edit. Owl belongs to the former category. Her boss belongs to the latter category.
Owl is duly shamed.
2) Business school application essays for a friend
Sometimes Owl’s mother looks at Owl and makes wistful eeping noises that can roughly be translated to please get your MBA, MBAs make money. Owl deflects by saying she’ll apply once she’s old enough. Post-reading essays Owl has decided to high tail it NeverNever land.
3) The back of her shampoo bottle
Apparently, Owl’s been shampooing with hair wax for the past three months. FML.
4) The Economist
After staying up until dawn to polish off a self-help book on how to become a CEO, Owl spent her entire cake budget on a subscription to the Economist. (CEOs keep abreast with international events.) After two issues, Owl was filled with regret and bitterness. Each one reads like a apocalypse novel; after she finishes Owl is convinced the world is ending.
5) Recipes on Google
Owl can not cook. Owl misses her mother's cooking. Owl is a masochist.
In conclusion, Owl wants another vacation.
|I gave up cake for this?|